I talked with one of my teachers recently about the teacher-student boundary. Even though the Middle Eastern dance community largely wants to be friends with one another, my teacher talked about how she wants to keep a boundary. Why? She feels that most people have trouble separating the person as their friend and when that person assumes the role of a teacher.
I tend to agree with her on this thought. I don’t befriend my students, and I don’t necessarily befriend my professors. I look for mentors, which is a different role. I’ve noticed that if you try to be friends with the students, like some people, when you assume a position of authority, they do become a little more resentful than if you were already in a position of authority. Because I look so young (and because some of these students are older than I), I usually try to do all I can to be authoritative towards them. Nice and approachable, but I also don’t want to go to the bars with them. However, I know many people who prefer to be friends with their students.
Which do you prefer?
17 February 2009 at 4:02 pm
I’ve never been in a teaching position, but even when my teachers became my colleagues through a research project at uni, I still kept a boundary. I knew we’d be back to teacher-student after a year or so, and it would make things weird if we became friends. Also, I tended to avoid the classes my colleagues taught, because as a member of the research project, they expected me to contribute more than other students and I found that a bit too stressful at times, because I’d hear about it at work if I didn’t speak up enough. It’s difficult.
17 February 2009 at 6:05 pm
Blurred boundaries are so rough. I generally have a policy that I don’t take classes with my friends, unless they’re friends I met through school. It’s kind of weird, but I know some of my friends are rather competitive or we have incompatible work styles for group work.